This is a post from the website Better After 50 by marital therapist Debra McLeod that I thought would resonate with our readership even if their husbands are not undergoing a midlife crisis…

Ah, the stereotypical male midlife crisis — it summons images of a middle-aged man cruising in a red convertible, trying to recapture the feeling of lost youth. Who can blame him? We all want to cover those grays, one way or another. And hey, it’s only in midlife that a lot of us can finally afford that shiny sports car.

In my experience working with couples, there are two general types of male midlife crises. One is authentic. The fear of death, regrets, marriage issues, a longing for meaning or new adventure — these can strain on a marriage and can lead to depression, especially for men who may be reluctant to seek support. Yet if a couple is devoted to their shared life, they can get through it together.

To me, this is more of a midlife transition. It’s common, natural and it can be a good thing. It’s what marriage is all about. Supporting each other and navigating life’s transitions together. That makes a marriage stronger.

But there’s another type of male midlife crisis. This one features less authenticity and more self-serving manipulation. This one makes a marriage weaker. It’s not marked by marital transition, but by marital terrorism. Fewer men do it, but those that do leave a trail of destruction in their wake.